Why the heck did I come back to Germany anyway? Though I do feel certain gratefulness that my life here pushed me to that edge… Beach please, what the actual Efffff?

When I left India to move back to Germany one of the main reasons was to get things done and make stuff. Be more creative. More involved. More active. More connected. While it was easy to maintain focus on goals over there, in fact, it was at times rather hard to let go of them, it was a tough job to actually get sh*t done. Like those two, three seasons I tried to grow vegetables in the garden through 40°C.

I knew in the West it would be a lot easier for me to get to the point but it would also be difficult not to be distracted. But wow was I naive. I had no clue that I would move back into a system where it was the easiest to forget myself, and that was basically designed to make it a daily challenge to remember who I am.

What the heck is going on here? Nobody knows. But nobody likes to admit it. Everyone is just looking for the right answer. The best suiting maneuver. To somehow make it through. And if the struggle for sufficient income is not your main game anymore then it‘s the daily hassle of somehow reviving your soul.

Getting up in the morning and remember who you are is one of the hardest jobs. Remember that you are a human being, not a human doing, not the sum of what you have done and where you have been or of peoples‘ opinions. You‘re not here to accomplish anything but to experience everything that comes into your reality. To honor and respect your own journey, to become who you need to become not what the capitalistic system wants you to believe you need to be.